


Some Days Were Better Than Others

by Celestial_Mess1



Series: RosexHux_Fics [6]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Armitage Hux Has Issues, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Brendol Hux's A+ Parenting, Childhood Trauma, F/M, GingerRoseWeek2020, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Miscarriage, POV Armitage Hux, POV Rose Tico, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rose Tico Deserved Better, rose is trying to be a good wife
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:22:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24204334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celestial_Mess1/pseuds/Celestial_Mess1
Summary: The war was over. Had been for five years. It felt like yesterday to Armitage Hux. He needed a way out of his mind. Out of these memories. Out of everything. Then the smell of flowers appeared.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Rose Tico
Series: RosexHux_Fics [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1740553
Kudos: 19
Collections: GingerRoseWeek2020





	Some Days Were Better Than Others

**Author's Note:**

> Day 6: After the War
> 
> Tried to be realistic a tad with this. Did give it a happy ending though, so that's some consolation.

Armitage woke up from a nightmare drenched in sweat. His shaking hands trying and failing to grip the sheets before him. He grits his teeth. Stop shaking! _You are a weak boy! Worthless! You’re Never gonna be anything!_ he heard Brendol Hux mutter in his ear.

He closed his eyes. He could do this; he could do this. “You aren’t real. You are dead.’ He took another shaky breath. ‘You aren’t real, You are dead.” Brendol Hux stood before his son, sneering.

 _“What a load of shit, Armitage. I raised a snot-nosed coward child just for you to become a weak-willed pussy!”_ Armitage shuddered waiting for the on slaughter of his beating. He breathed in again, hard.

“You aren’- he felt the first slap. ‘real. You are dead.” Another pain shot through his leg as his dead father crushed his weight on it. His reflects kicked in. He punched his dad in the face, surprised when nothing but air connected, and he fell face first onto the floor.

Brendol Hux had been dead for more than fifteen years. Armitage still felt the sting of his father slap as if it happened yesterday. A buzzing in his ear grew loud.

He sighed, “Another good morning.” Armitage leaned his head against the side of bed, covering his face with his hands. He had had enough of this! Why was he still alive? He needed to be dead. No! Wanted to be dead.

The sounds of keys jangling in a door, had him shoot up from his bedroom floor. He looked around the room. It was small. It only really held the bed and a nightstand. His heart hammered fast as he blearily looked around, frantic. He would not be beat again!

He checked the sleeves of his pajamas. Where was his knife? His chest hurt and his heart was thundering in his ears. The drawer! Yes, of course. He hid his knife in the draw. He ran to the stand, retching it open. What?

All he found was a butter knife. Where was his blade? Why couldn’t he find it? The steps of the person were getting louder. No matter. Armitage was trained in multiple combats. He could do this; he could take this foe. Armitage grabbed the butter knife, slinking to his door and opening it. The tiny hallway only faced forward. His room was at the end.

He vacantly recalled there was a fresher on the left and another empty room to the right further up. Armitage stepped precariously out. His assailant wouldn’t get him. He would strike first. He made sure his footsteps were silent. His breathing even. Armitage inclined his ear, hearing no movement. Perhaps the offender left. If not, he could escape through the fresher window. Were there vents in this house? Maybe he could craw through them.

Armitage was prepared to-

A sound came from the open space at the end of the hall he was at. His ears perked up. He got them now! He crept into the larger space. It was bare except for a couch, a modest entertainment system and a wall that he recalled lead to a kitchen. Oh! He heard the sound behind him. I got you know.

Armitage swerved completely, landing his butter knife against the assailant shoulder only to stop when her heard her scream. _“Please Sir, Please Please!” a woman cried, her house being set on fire. Hux sneered. “You have done your service to the First Order. Your child will be fed.” He turned a blind eye when his troopers began to undress the woman on whim. Hux didn’t have need for such insatiable appetites. He would not sully himself with a common street rat. He had his dignity to think about._

He dropped his butter knife. He noise in his head was louder now! He smelled burning bodies and singe limbs. His head hurt. He squatted on the floor and wept, recalling all the women who stood in his face and called him names, who told him one by one the stories of their dead children. Because of him!

“Armie!! ARMITAGE!! Open Your EYES! I’M RIGHT HERE. ARMIE, I’M RIGHT HERE.” A frantic voice like honey yelled. Small hands ripped his off his ears. Armitage felt as he was enveloped in the smell of machine oil and flowers. She smelt amazing. Focus on the scent, his mind told him.

“Ummmmm,’ Armitage buried his head into the small heating pad. A hand was caressing his back. He thought absently.

“That’s it. That’s right. Remember what Doctor Xex Sumec said.” A soothing voice called ‘You aren’t real. You are dead.”

A ball of white light entered Armitage eyes as he looked up at the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Rose, his mind supplied. Rose Tico. She was his, his mind also growled with protectiveness. She sat, holding him at arm’s length, smiling. The sun behind her illuminated her angelic face and Armitage felt he had to shield his eyes from such a pure, angelic looking woman.

“See, you’re better now Armie.” Armitage felt as salt ran down his cheeks. She kissed him on the forehead

“Now get dressed. I made breakfast!”

A meowing sounded off in the background as a black and white cat popped from under his legs. Everything in Armitage brain screamed to kill it, but all sound decreased when Rose laughed.

“Oh, and Piper’s litter box isn’t going to clean itself. Is it, Pipe?” she cooed petting the cat. It purred loudly as it sat between his legs. Ah, yes Piper. She was the adorable stray him and Rose found outside a local cantina one night. She had been with them a year now.

Rose squeezed Armitage hands, his mind rolling back to woman before him. “You okay, Armie?” He shook his head afraid to use words just yet. She gave him a sad smile. 

“Breakfast is ready whenever you are.” She helped him get up and walked him to the fresher, kissing him on the hand when she realized their size difference wouldn’t allow her to kiss his forehead. Armitage chuckled as she pouted then walked away.

He closed the door to the fresher staring at the man he is, not the man he was. The cruel beast of flaming red-hair who haunted his nightmares. Armitage Hux had been struggling with the sight of the man in the mirror for three years now. The war had been long done before that. In fact, it felt like yesterday it had ended.

He had stumbled onto the Rebels base, collapsing before he had the guts to admit what he knew he should have. It had been a rough uphill battle from there. Sometimes he can still smell the decay of burning bodies and the stench of his own blood as the Resistance found a punching bag to let out their anger. He never blamed them. He was responsible.

Armitage glared in the mirror. “You did bad things. But you are not that man anymore. That man is gone.” His hands shook again. He rubbed his chest, still feeling the blast from Pryde gun. Armitage closed his eyes. He was overheating. His vision blurred. He needed the white noise in his head to stop being so damn loud all the time! He needed to be at peace for once.

 _“Men like you don’t deserve peace.”_ He heard a voice mutter in his ear. It sounded distinctly like Snoke. That bastard had been dead for years. Armitage flexed his fingers in both hands. He was real. He was here. He deserved this. He was-

A small whimper and scratching at the door told him Piper was ready for him to come out. He was a naughty little thing. Armitage shook his head. He wasn’t there anymore. He was not that guy anymore. The war felt like it was yesterday, but he knew Rose would tell him it’d been five years.

His skin had gotten color to it, revealing freckles his lover appeared to adore. He had grown his hair out a tad but not too much and allowed himself the satisfaction of a roguish stubble. Armitage shook his head, taking a shower.

He needed to be rid of these…………..memories? He wasn’t sure what they were, nightmares? He breathed in and out, placing his head against the cool of the tile. His doctor, a Falleen woman, with glowing eyes and no ears was a nice female. He saw her three times a week. Sometimes it was less to explore his ‘daddy issues’ as Rose had joked.

She told him whenever he felt stressed and couldn’t stop thinking he was to focus on something, hold on to it. That focus always ran to Rose. **Rose Tico was 5’2**.

 **Asian American**.

 **Species:** Human.

 **Occupation:** Mechanic.

 **Husband:** …............

He always stopped there. Rose never seemed like she was real, like he deserved her after all the bad that had happened in his life. All the bad choices he made.

 **Husband:** Armitage Hux.

He sighed. He should get of the shower soon. Rose would call him pruney and refuse to kiss him. He smirked, stepping out the shower.

 **Family:** Parents and sister: deceased. **One child:** not carried to term.

He frowns toweling off his hair. His Rose had cried for days afterwards about how inadequate she was. He remembers holding her and being there for her. He hadn’t been as excited about parenthood as his spouse. He never knew what a parent should have been. But he was willing to try for Rose. She really was his everything.

 **Hobbies:** Tinkering with toys, engineering, skinny dipping.

That last thought had him blushing. He remembered the time she dragged him through the Rebel base, the moonlight making her skin shine. And when she had unzipped that terrible jumpsuit of hers to reveal beautiful skin, he nearly sobbed. Then chocked at finally seeing what was at the apex of her thighs.

“Damn.” He muttered. His pretty, little wife could make him hard anytime she felt like it. Armitage wrapped a bathrobe around his full body, stepping out of the fresher and waking down to the end of hall where their bedroom was. Rose had already laid clothes on the bed for him.

This time it was a giant hoodie with a teddy bear on it and a pair of blue jeans. He growled. His wife was always trying to make him wear cutesy stuff like she preferred. Every time he denied her. He went and grabbed his favorite grey t-shirt and threw on the jeans. The noise in mind telling him he was a monster was quieting down.

He wondered idly if the weather would hold up and he could take Rose to a picnic. She did love those. He smiled recalling the first time she dragged him out in the forest. He still wasn’t sure if she was going to kill him at the time. She didn’t. She laid a blanket on the wet ground of Crait and promptly handed him a sandwich from the basket she bought. He had reluctantly agreed. Her laugh that day been infectious, he mused, walking to the kitchen.

Piper meowed at him, rubbing again his legs. “Yes, you are a pretty girl.” Rose giggles filled the room as he stood to full height. Her hands were filled with pancakes and a bowl of fruit. “I’m sorry about this morning.’ Her eyes softened. ‘I didn’t mean to scare you like that. I forgot that entering your space is a no-no”

Armitage crossed over to his wife. “It’s not my space. It’s our space.”

She blushed and glanced at Piper. “I know, but Doctor Sumec said to not jar you in anyway with triggers.”

Armitage reached for his wife, placing both hands on her hips. “I had a dream again. I don’t know who it was about.” He whispered.

Rose cocked her head to the side, her pony swinging with it. Armitage followed it with his eyes. “Armie, do you want to talk about it?”

“No.’ he answered quickly. ‘I-I’ he ran a hand through his hair. He was feeling a bit better. The buzzing sensation of too many memories flooding back at once was dull now. ‘I overreacted. We’ve talked about this before. It is better not to know. But, I can think of a way you could make it up to me.” He smirked grabbing the food and setting it on the table a few arm’s length away from the couch.

“Oh, really?” she chuckled, walking to him as he sat down.

“Yes.” He smiled, pulling her into his lap. She stroked his face.

“Are you sure, Armie?”

Armitage grinned. “With you, I’m always sure”

“Okay, I love you. Flaws and all.” She beamed at him. He let go of the breath his didn’t know he had been holding.

“I love you too.” he kissed his beautiful bride.

\----------------------------------------

Rose pulled away from her husband, observing the devotion in his eyes. She smiled. Armitage Hux really was hers. Forever and ever, she told him. She meant it.

Rose stoked his stubble coming in. she loved it when he started growing a beard. It always made him look so rugged and manly. Rose shifted, sitting sideway in his lap so he wouldn’t know how he affected her. She shoved a grape in her mouth.

“What do we have planned today?” he inquired, making plates for both of them. Her heart melted a tad. He was always trying to provide for her, when she did the same. Sure, their marriage wasn’t the greatest. She remembers a rough patch when she was pretty sure she had chosen the wrong spouse. That was year they didn’t talk about, not in full detail. Armitage was still healing from his trauma.

Is Still healing from his trauma, she corrected herself. Four years of therapy and being by his side. Yet Doctor Sumec said the trauma would last forever. PTSD she called it. Rose was so tired all the time that first year. But it got better, just very slowly. Now his episodes were less frequent, and they had safety words in check to make sure he was okay.

“Alpha?” she asked.

He turned his full attention on her and winced. “Delta.”

They have developed a way of describing his pain through the military alphabet. Alpha meant he was good and happy. Zulu meant he was reliving every experience in painstaking detail. He would not look her in the eye when Zulu occurred. She knew he went into his ‘dark place’. She trembled a tad, feeling her hopelessness kick in. She could still see his lifeless body laid on their couch. His breathing had slowed to non-existent. She had wanted to call her friends and cry, but Rey left soon after the war was over. No one has heard from her since. Soon after Finn and Poe drifted off together. She was alone. Her insides crawled to a stop and died the minute the doctor told her poison was found in his veins. Those were the things that haunted her nightmares. 

He hadn’t uttered Zulu in a year and a half. Not after their baby was taken from them. Rose felt her face sag. Tears threatening to form at her eyes.

“My flower, what’s wrong?” Rose looked away from him.

“Just whispers of Charlie.” Armitage rubbed her back knowingly.

“You haven’t said Zulu in such a long time. Not since…Not since….Not’ her voice wavered. She openly sobbed now. ‘I know you didn’t want to be a father, but I wanted him for the both of us. Our little boy was ours!” She sobbed into his chest.

He just placed calming strokes along her back. “Rose,’ he asked pulling her face to his.

Their foreheads touched. Rose let out another shaky breath as he handed her a tissue. She turned back to watch him observing her. She a mess. She was supposed to be happy. Happy people helped their sad spouses. They were supposed to be happy. No one ever tells you what happens after ‘The end’ is read aloud.

She grabbed her stomach. It still hurt to feel their precious little boy not growing anymore. Armitage hand laid across her own.

‘I….I’ she peered up, her tears finally ceasing. His face was red and unreadable. ‘I never thought I was meant to be a father. Hell, I still don’t Rose. I at no time in my life had a role model, just endless amounts of men who disappointed and were disappointed in me. I know its not an excuse. I just don’t have any other way to say it.”

Rose sniffled. “So, wait. Would you want to……… you know?”

His face was scrunched up glaring at the pancakes. He nodded once. Her husband was so adorable sometimes it hurt.

“Do you mean that?” she quietly queried.

He placed his hand on her check. “Of course. If that is what you want’ he licked his lips glancing away from her ‘you want to try again, we can.”

Her heart soared at the idea. A baby would be amazing! Something growing inside, someone Armie could take of. Someone he couldn’t shy away from.

“Oh Armie!” Rose blubbered flinging herself further in his arms as she kissed him. Armitage returned the kiss with fervor, his hands going to cup her ass. Rose straddled her husband ready to give him the ride of his lifetime when a small meow sprung in the air. The couple turned around to see a loud angry looking ball of fur staring at them.

Rose got off of Armie’s lap chuckling as she heard her husband exasperated sigh. She picked up the cat in question. “I’m sorry Piper. Were mommy and daddy not paying enough attention to you?”

Piper meowed back, rubbing against Rose neck. She beamed, turning back to her husband. He returned her smile, weakly. It wasn't perfect and he still looked haggard but today was going to be a good day. At least a better day than others. 


End file.
